How to Give a Sensual (AKA Sexy) Massage for a Blissful Night

The art of massage, and particularly sensual massage, has taken a backseat when it comes to intimacy. Many people are uncomfortable giving massages to their spouses because they don’t believe they are any good at it. The truth is, anyone can give an excellent massage! All it takes are a few tips and the ability to enjoy it as much as your spouse will.

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The Environment

Setting the scene from the very start is important, as the environment can easily make or break the experience for your partner. Fortunately, this need not be an expensive or time-consuming endeavor, as long as you consider the three aspects below.

First, you’ll want to create an environment completely free from distraction. Remove all phones and laptops from the room, or set them to silent and place out of sight. Unplug the TV and computer, and even cover alarm clocks and other devices that have harsh, electronic displays.

Next, take a moment to think about how your partner likes to relax. Perhaps they enjoy the scent of a particular candle, or maybe a fresh arrangement of flowers is more their thing.

Relaxing candles help set the mood for erotic massage

Set the tone with soft, instrumental music, and create a world that is just for the two of you.

Now, consider which “equipment” you’ll be using during the session. Oil is an absolute must, but the one you choose will depend entirely on you and your partner’s preferences.

Oils such as coconut and almond are lightly-scented options with good, moisturizing effects.

Some, however, prefer the feel of mineral oils, while others prefer vegetable oils, such as canola or sunflower.

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Applying massage oil 

Also, where will your partner be laying throughout this exercise? The bed is a good space, if it’s large enough for her to stretch onto comfortably. However, a table or floor is just as good once covered with a soft, layered mat.

Place some oil on your hands and massage the back with long, easy strokes. You can position yourself behind their head and stroke down the back near the spine and back up the sides.

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Start slowly, then increase the pressure.

Once the muscles have warmed up and are relaxed, increase the pressure. Next, knead the muscles around your spouse’s shoulders and neck using your thumb and forefingers. Most of us hold a lot of tension in our neck and shoulders (I personally collect a plethora of knots in between my shoulder blades, so this is the main area my husband massages for me). Keep in mind that you want to follow the flow of the muscles, not against them. Pay attention to what pressure points your spouse is responding to.

Massage everywhere.

You can massage the wrists, fingers, ears, the back of the neck, and the insides of the elbows and knees–these areas are probably rarely given any attention. Rub your fingers over your spouse’s scalp, massage and rub every finger and every toe until your spouse is fully relaxed. Feel free to rub, kiss, lick, and even nibble on these neglected regions. Your spouse will feel appreciated by your attention to detail. If you have a problem with your hands tiring too quickly, give a sensual massage using your body. Your hands aren’t your only tools; you can make good use of your oiled arms, chest, and stomach.

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Massage and Eroticism

Once you understand how massage works and the many benefits it provides, it’s easy to see how erotic massage came to be. After all, when you combine two things that make you feel good (in this case, massage and sex), doesn’t it make sense that the good feelings would be amplified?

But erotic massage isn’t all about sexual pleasure. Instead, there are two sources of pleasure that your partner will enjoy during an erotic massage session.

Of course, sexual pleasure is certainly one of those sources. However, the other source of pleasure derives from the massage itself. Think of an orgasm as a by-product of the erotic massage session, but not the ultimate goal. As your hands move from body part to body part, your partner will become more and more relaxed.

The tension will leave their body, ever so slowly, until all muscles are loosened. This is the reason that climax becomes more likely, and squirting for women even becomes possible—as your partner gives into the relaxation, her inhibitions will give way as well.

With erotic massage, your partner will slowly lose all signs of fear, anxiety, and self-consciousness.

This is the “magic” that is erotic massage. It’s not really magic, however, is it? Instead, the physical and emotional benefits are supported by research and touted by medical professionals around the world.

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As with most things, never, ever expect a massage in return.

Your spouse may be so relaxed after getting one from you that they are unable to reciprocate immediately after you finish. That doesn’t mean they won’t reciprocate your loving affection later on.

Ready to go? Grab this guide below and……..Remember: enthusiasm, playfulness, and a willingness to explore and having fun are key. Everything else is secondary.


Here is the thing, when your physical intimacy is wanting, their relationships become vulnerable to resentment, anger and detachment.

In our busy lives it can be hard to find time to connect with our partner in ways that strengthen our relationship and create more intimacy. I would definitely advice that you put aside times of the week to connect and be intimate. During these times you could choose to do various things like massage. Giving your partner a simple at-home massage can be a great way to boost intimacy and help your partner feel nurtured. The benefits of touch are many! The oxytocin released during this makes you feel good about your partner and the relationship you created together. Scientifically, these hormones are responsible for building trust and emotional connections. They’re brought on by sexual and non-sexual touching. This building of trust between partners is what you will need to restore your connection. Now if your relationship has taken a turn for the worse what kind of touching is still viable and easy to start on? Massage would be my go to answer both of you will love the activity

Kneading each other’s knots is a way to show selfless love and affection, in addition to fostering trust, improving communication, and expressing vulnerability. It’s a great opportunity to practice consent and ask for what you truly want—which can be helpful in other parts of the relationship.

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