╭∩╮What She Really Tells Her Friends About Your Sex Life

Relax—this could actually be a good sign. When those sex stories surface, it’s usually the noteworthy, the newsworthy, the spicifically great stuff. Like that time my friend called me on a Sunday at 7 a.m. to tell me that a former Nickelodeon star was asleep in her bed. Or my other friend who wouldn’t shut up about all the public places she did it with her boyfriend.

And OK, the hilariously unfortunate stuff makes its way into girl talk, too. You know, like misadventures in anal sex, or an unexpected micropenis. (Just give us a heads up!)

But trust me, she’s not going over the details of how many minutes you last, rating your moves, or imitating your O-face over brunch. And if your sex life was truly awful—by that I mean excruciatingly dull or worse, nonexistent—she wouldn’t say a word about it to her friends. Now that’s what I’d be paranoid about.

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